bluedesign2

Spent time going over it mentally. All the things that shouldn't have been said. The emotions felt were too strong to hold back, which caused the opposite intended reaction. You are now gone. And all that needed to be done was hold back.

And just like that, both of those seemingly conflicting predictions my horoscope had made, came to be. It really is rather fitting, I must say. I have a knack for making this sort of things happen quite regularly. Especially when it comes to myself. Why do I even bother, I wonder? What has to happen before I realize the futility of even trying anymore, really? Do  I need to keep doing to myself, or will I finally realize that it is just going to be that way. No matter what I do, no matter how I try, I will remain just as I am. Bah.

Truth? I have no idea if I still hold those true-felt beliefs dear to my heart any longer. The older I get, the more I realize that things are not the way I used to think they were. Which confirms just about everything I believed in. Confused? Don't worry. I don't get it either. Way I figure things, when I die either I figure out everything or nothing. Yay.